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You’ve Got to Get Back in the Saddle To Ride Into the Sunset

April 14, 2014 by Diane

love of horse

My Wise Self reminded me that humans are social creatures. It’s good for our brains. It’s good for our well-being. It’s the light that keeps us alive. It’s time, she said gently, to start dating again.

I had pried my heart from my last relationship. The single life was beginning to lose its charm. I had even read a copy of Meeting Your Half-Orange. She was right. It was time.

So I made an effort. I brought a book to Peet’s Coffee & Tea, and I read.

That’s making an effort? 

I lugged my laptop to the library, and I wrote.

You’ve got to look up, my Wise Self suggested.

“Here? Now? At the library?”

I looked around.

I saw the Japanese man eating a hamburger with chopsticks.

I saw a sporty guy in casual slacks and loafers surfing porn on the internet, his left leg jiggling.

I saw a teenage boy gliding past the window on a skate board wearing a T-shirt that read: Have You Seen This Person? And his photo was on it.

These, these were the pickings.

Go outside, my wise self prodded.

So I took my book to the park and stretched out on a blanket. There were people in the park. Dog walkers. One of them stopped by my blanket to say hello. A man with the build of a baseball player. Blonde hair, merry blue eyes. I said to myself: yes, this one I’d like to meet. But there was no matchmaker sitting on the bench nearby waiting to do my bidding. So I bid my time.

I went back to reading.

Eventually the mystery man asked me out for coffee. I released my hold on the book and left it at home. I ordered one of those fancy soy drinks laced with chocolate syrup. He ordered coffee, and paid the tab. We sat at a small table and sipped our drinks and then he leaned back in his chair and asked for my pedigree. I smiled. I knew I’d never pass his test because he drove a Porsche and I’d never even sat in one. I knew that if he knew he was slumming right now he’d check his wallet and then beat a hasty retreat.

Don’t be so judgmental, my Wise Self cautioned.

I took a breath.

I smiled at baseball man.

I looked into those merry eyes and told him the truth. A bite-sized piece of it, just enough so he wouldn’t choke. I wasn’t about to haul out my life story. A story is to be savored, not gulped all at once.

And it felt good. It felt good to be back in the saddle again. I wasn’t riding any cowboys. I wasn’t fooling myself into thinking this was a date. It was a soy drink; it was two people conversing.

But it was a soy drink with a man who wasn’t my ex.



  1. This made me spit coffee! There was a guy browsing porn. In public. AT THE LIBRARY! I thought my library was bad with all the homeless sink showerers.

    Baseball guy sounds interesting. I’d date again (if I could) just for the material alone.

    • Diane says:

      Not only browsing, but printing the stuff out! I know this because I was next in line at the printer, and I got his printout! Sheesh.

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